How to Start the Estate Planning Discussion

June 24, 2020 

How to Start the Estate Planning Discussion 

As is the case with most things in life, getting started can be the hardest challenge.  Now couple that challenge with a project that involves planning for your eventual passing.  Most people don’t view estate planning as an enjoyable topic. In fact, according to a 2017 survey by Caring.com, only 4 in 10 adults have a Will or Trust.  40%. As you might expect, the percentages increase depending on the age of the adults.  81% of adults over the age of 72 have some form of estate plan.  That’s comforting, unless you are in that 19% who don’t have one.  More concerning is almost 80% of those aged 18- 36 and 64% of those aged 37-52 do not have a plan. Many of these people have families with small children a group for whom an unexpected passing is especially traumatic   An estate plan can free the surviving spouse from worrying about what you would have wanted done with your assets, and allow him/her to focus on supporting the children.   

We get it.  It’s a tough conversation to start.  Listed below are some conversation ice breakers that may help you get the process going with your loved ones. 

Discuss the Future: At CASHMAN LAW, we like to think of estate planning as part of your retirement plan.  As you consider your long-terms goals, also consider what goals you might have when you pass. What are your family values?  How can you pass them on to the next generation? What impact would you like to make in your community, or your profession?   

Reference Other People Who Have Plans: There is nothing like taking the edge off a difficult topic by noting that it’s just something everyone needs to do.  Finding out you neighbor has already filed his/her taxes can be a reminder that you need to get going on yours as well.  If someone you know has created a will or a trust, raising this as a conversation starter may make the topic more mundane, and easier to initiate with your own family. 

Talk about Significant Life Events: The birth of a child or grandchild, the start of a new job, promotion, or transition into retirement, the marriage of an heir – all these are happy life events that should also trigger future planning.  Estate planning should be associated with happy times.  Any of these events can be used to segue into a conversation about estate planning. 

Discuss Healthcare:  Many people associate estate planning with the topics of finances: who gets what and how much.  That can be a conversation-ender with many people, but state planning is so much more.  A big part of a complete estate plan is current health, and potential long-term care.  A conversation that begins with “How are you doing, and Have you thought about what care you may need in the future” may be a successful conversation starter to discuss a complete estate plan. 

Discuss you Finances: If you are approaching a younger generation, a discussion that begins with financial advice may transition easily to a broader discussion on estate planning. Taking to your children about the importance of putting money aside might remind them that if tragedy strikes, they will need a plan to care for their children, and perhaps other loved ones later in life. 

Takeaway

As a parting thought, if you are approaching parents, or more senior loved ones, initiating the conversation with questions about finances and capacity might not open the floodgates to a productive discussion.  Consider instead discussing their life and legacy.  Conversely, if you are approaching a younger generation, consider couching an estate plan as a product of reaching a successful milestone in their lives. Be positive.  Estate Planning should be a joyous activity that celebrates a person’s life and accomplishments.  Need help? Contact CASHMAN LAW today for a free consultation to see how we might help you understand how an estate plan might provide you and your loved ones the comfort and security they deserve. 

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